Thursday, 29 March 2012


I used to be a believer but the magic just seems to have fade away , there are no more grasped moments, no more stolen glances ,the illusions of a dream long gone and what is left behind is a hollow shell of everlasting "what if's " and dried out eyes cause the tears don't change a thing. When did we forget how to love , when did it become about something less than all we ever hoped for? Am tired , am weary and quite frankly I just want to give up and let go of it all, maybe I lost my chance once upon a long ago time and as hard as may look there is nothing to find.

I used to sit and let my imagination run wild with cinematic scenes of happily ever after but all I ever saw was the sad endings with broken hearts and half said goodbyes. I cannot give a heart that I do not have, I cannot find a heart that I lost in search of love , so what do I do? Abandon the quest ? fight on till I can fight no more? I don't know , maybe I'll experience an epiphany and it will all be clear or am maybe am looking at miss right but I just don't know it.

There are tears in my eyes, it seems to hurt to remember when the past is all we have and the future looks bleak void any hopes of a better tomorrow, absent the chance of new beginnings. But i have always been a dreamer undeterred by life's relentless mission to discourage. I believe in going past the breaking point to the unknown roads of least resistance ( i'll be damned if i known what that means ).

Talk of the devil *epiphany* so what was the first time like? What made any one of you believe in love for the first time? I remember , I couldn't say a word every time she was near me, how my heart would skip a beat when I caught a glimpse of her. It was magical and I would be a fool not to want to ever feel that way again, like anything is possible and the only thing that limits you is time because the hours apart feel like forever and the moments together are fleeting , gone before you had the chance to savor them. Who remembers their first true kiss, the one that swept you off your feet made you shiver with anticipation, when you paused and stared into each other's eyes and every promise you made meant more than words could ever say ?

I remember it ,what it felt like to be helplessly in love or rather i glimpse at it through windows and the memories slowly sip back in, like words to a song long forgotten but always kept at heart. My body quivers, i am at inception again and have found someone who reminds me why i believed in love all those many years ago. I smile at the idea of it, befuddled by the simple memory of her beauty ever so resplendent. To her i will give my heart and the rest will surely follow.

Am just SayinG TM