Tuesday, 22 January 2013


For all you geeky nerds like me yes I know I have stolen the title but I just couldn't help myself and besides it's totally relevant. So the other day I got to understand that you shouldn't take on more than you can handle, in all honesty I don’t know why I got myself in that situation to begin with. It was a beautiful Wednesday morning and everything seemed right with the world, so I thought to myself why not take the Mercedes dear old dad wants to sell the old thing, stick shift car by the way(very important point). So you see the problem is as much as I know how to drive a stick shift, this one was different, it didn't quite respond the way you normally expect. You see, most of us are used to good old Toyota with its easy to understand nature and can do attitude. I get into the car, feels a bit cramped in but hey what's a little discomfort at the expense of luxury right. I pull out of the drive way, luckily there was no oncoming traffic. So am stepping on the accelerator fully but the way that car is moving…. dismal I mean when you put your foot to the floor you expect some results. I felt like I was in a tuk tuk, of course to the guys outside it must have looked like I was cruising Lol. I make it to the first turn and things seem to be going my way, am able to get as far as Yaya before the damn thing goes off, right in the middle of a corner might I add. Cold sweat washes over me and am thinking am totally screwed, quickly I start the car up again and continue with my predicament. At this point am thinking to myself what the hell was I thinking cause this is turning out to be a very grim day , very very grim. Eventually the lone ranger aka me makes it to my final destination (school)and am thinking "phew, at least".
A couple of pals think themselves "Baba Yao" and try driving the beast, yes I resigned to calling it that after all the trouble it had given me and presto, I discover that I am quite the driver even though am suffering. I watch as it goes off over and over again. Can't help but laugh, the guys look like inexperienced amateurs trying to get reverse to engage as the car shakes helplessly. One of them takes it upon himself to try till it moves.
" Eeeh dude kwani its how with this car?"
"Si you set it into gear, it's not that hard."
We all burst  out laughing as the car went into an epileptic fit, they finally gave up on it and for a little while I forgot about the beast then home time came. Before I continue let me just mention that never again, ever. So we start off nicely then we get to Mbagathi way, see the problem with this road is that it's all up hill and well given my out of touch position with this car, balancing was going to be a bitch. So I struggle for a better part of it then things get really interesting, at first I smell the distinctive odour of burning clutch. I think to myself am totally screwed but then comes the smoke, who ever said that things can't get worse?  I have no idea what the hell is going on and am thinking "am totally done for." I hear that voice in the back of my head saying I should have just left the car in the first place, I have to think fast or I'll really be screwed. I remember a pal of mine lives in Ngumo so pit stop it is, and there I remain for as long as traffic exists.  Actually learnt that there are cameras that monitor traffic albeit the angles are horrible, I mean why put a camera where you are sure traffic is almost always moving, that’s just idiotic. So finally when darkness falls and most people have made their way to their houses I creep out of Ngumo and slowly start to make my way home. My journey was marred by angry drivers who didn’t seem to appreciate my go slow attitude but as luck would have it the traffic was moving and after what seemed like a very long day I finally got home and gently vowed " Never Again."

Sunday, 13 January 2013


We  were sitting in a room , my pal kept staring at the ceiling with that spaced out look. He had been like that for a while now, oblivious of the world around him almost in a trance as it were. "You guy kwani what's up?"
"What the hell is this now, she's telling me that she's late man"
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, we'd been in this precarious situation before and time and time again, ad told my pal to always take the necessary precautions but hey, Shit happens right. I could see the frustrations lines  form on his face, that helpless look you get when you feel the world around you caving in, " Dude screw that maze, me am not dealing with that crap".
I was trying to look for words but then again what do you tell someone in that situation? We've all been there once or maybe a few more times than we'd care to remember, that fear filled moment when you think you're gonna be blessed with a bundle of "joy" and you don’t know what next step to take. Whether to bury your head in the sand and hope beyond all hope its just the universe playing a sick joke on you or maybe the gal is simply trying to find out how you would really react in that situation. Let's take the latter for instance, so  a girl tells you she's paged and she's gonna keep it, any rational guy who hadn't planned for that of course isn't gonna want to listen to that story so how do you think he'll react ? We both know it I just don’t have the courage to write it here, bottom line chic breaks up with guy. Back to the story, so my boy calls up the gal to find out if she's playing games (story for  later ) or she's for real.
The conversation starts up kinda sketchy, guy doesn’t really know how to bring up the issue without sounding insensitive  so he beats around the bush with small talk all the while building up to" the big question". Finally he just blurts it out , " Are you for real or are you just messing with me ? Cause if you are we are totally done." You can see his face start to cringe in anger all the while I'm trying my best to hold back the laughter. I can faintly hear her voice, you know how loud speakers can be sometimes. I make out the words two days so I start thinking to myself , maybe it's just been two days you know ,  things could work out for the better. My pals face changes my conviction about the same, he's near tears now I'm wondering what the hell is going on, finally he gets off and obviously am eager to hear what's happening. He's barely audible, "………two days ago"
"Dude, ebu speak properly I can't make out what you're saying or its good news huh?"
 I tap him on the shoulder his expression's still the same, then he just goes ballistic tell me all about how she was messing with him and that she had started two days ago. His face is torn between joy and anger but my goodness ad like to see what he does when they finally meet up, but that my friends is a story for another day.