A SIMPLE WISH

Memoirs of passion I have long forgotten, it feels like drifting on the gentle current of the river hoping to find something no one can quiet remember. I no longer drown in it, it’s shallow brooding only on the surface, a burden to bear with and the truth is I cannot for the love of love do this any more. Pretend all is well when for a long time it hasn’t been; smile while inside I weep, I weep for what we had. Wish just for a moment we could go back to the time when we meant what we said, not feel obligated to say something for the sake of it, when it was easier to just love boundlessly. I ask myself the reasons why, to justify maybe simplify this predicament that has befallen me but even in the recess of my mind the answer remains an illusion far too obscured to make head or tail. The folly of human nature Is that we are limited, by time, by space , by so many things. Living for the moment becomes our only comfort in a sea of unfulfilled dreams, yet unrealised hopes and a myriad of would be futures. That is the glimmer sanctioned in this abyss of darkness, a guided misconception impractical to actual application for the multitude of a glimmer far out weights the implication of it scoping over millions of miles ,light years if memory serves me right. Things could be brighter but the appreciation of the little we have makes it value ten fold teaching us to treasure what we hold dear ,cherish every waking moment and find solace in it.

Am just sayinG™

We All Must Grow Old

I grin at resemblance of a me long forgotten, a speck in the memory of existence. Maybe all good things must come to an end, fleeting dreams stymied from the future by the harsh reality that is our living. I can’t remember what it felt like to behold the innocence of a child, to fear not the aspect of simply being. 

 I have become an old soul accredited a conscience that lingers over like impending doom, binding my free spirit in a prison of society’s making. Am I to think, it would be best to forever stay young, impervious to the facts that every bitter better childhood must at some point succumb to the inevitable truth, we all must grow old.

People are designed to progress through the various stages in their life , endure different challenges and experiences each leaving their own mark on us. I quote " what are we if not our memories"  at the end of the day it's the only thing we take away from all of life's up's and down's.

At the end when all's said and done, we can only but appreciate the beauty of being human, that we are born ,we grow old, we learn and eventually we expire. 

It's a wonderful cycle   , am just sayinG™.

The Now

The intricate nature of the perplex mind is the blessed curse of simply being, existing in coordination with the universe from sunrise to sun down, never really comprehending our purpose for living ,caught up in our day to day surviving . Do we stop to smell the roses anymore? or are they lost relics of the once legendary era of the gentlemen, the unwavering majestic knights in shining armor consumed by the ever changing complexities of modern society where strangers are deemed as a risk not a chance at happily ever after. Our appreciation for the little things has withered leaving a decomposed aftermath of an accepting mood, indifferent to the possibility that the beauty of life is in those said things.

Affection has become a bitter infliction on the fragile heart for in it we do not find bliss rather the sad disposition of an inevitable hurt and the promise of hopeless change. From the wise saying I quote “History will repeat itself.” Yes, lightning does strike twice even if for the random chance that it is. But past the stalk that bears the thorns atop will always be a rose, beautiful and prime. Yet even this will not deter the will of relentless love that bounds together two souls tethered, for is that not the meaning of life, of man and wife? Or are we bound to roam the earth less half of a whole ? I refuse to accept such a profound temperament denying the cyclic rhythm of human nature ,subjecting us to the dire of pure solitary.

I would much rather be embodied as an antic than suffer the "gift" of the new dawn for in it I am inapposite,a mammoth among elephants to say the least. So I asked to be awarded the kinder fortune,shelve me. My time will come again,until then I will inevitably wait.

Am just sayinG™

INSOMNIA

It's well past the hour,
Her sweet velvet voice, a whisper in the night ,
I think there was a noise ,
Was it a baby playing with toys ?
Tick tack tock ,
But that was just the clock.

For a moment there was a pause,
My hands through her silky hair,
Grease, shampoo?
Her sweet scented hair.

The passion burns my skin,
I long to touch , can't help but stare,
Curse shallow breaths and racing hearts ,
I reach for her , a smile my badge .

I grab , I hug. Nothing but air
Smile and laugh, delirium it be ,
And though reality eludes ,
To my cause I will stay true .

Belonging

Sometimes I wonder if we can ever truly satisfy that feeling of belonging, does it culminate with family or is it the never ending room for improvement seamlessly stretching out with no sight in end. No man is an island, no one wants to be alone. We all want to feel loved in our own little ways, whether it’s a big surprise

Or the simple little things  like a kiss just because or holding your hand cause you looked kinda scared, even a hug just because you looked like you needed one.

It’s different for everyone but at the end of the day, aren’t we all just looking for somewhere we belong? Someone who sees’s past all the blemishes, to the heart of us, and doesn’t judge but accepts? Why else would we believe in soul mates or feel the need to have best friends? Each of them satisfies that feeling of belonging in one little way or another, they make us part of a whole in the bigger sense of things for are we not just a piece of a puzzle all working to form a bigger picture?

But for every ying there is a yang, for all the acceptance there are times we face rejection more than we care to accept and the truth of the matter is life is full of failures, it’s not a bed of roses with velvet soft petals but a stalk of thorns we wade through constantly struggling to survive hoping that tomorrow brings a better day, another day in paradise I guess.  But somehow people always get back up and dust it off, the will of the soul to live on past all the pain, the hurt, the up’s and down’s somehow always stronger(should listen to Mary J. Blige’s song , stronger). I was nourished with the information that the soul lives on (who knew school actually applies to real life hehehe) maybe that that’s why it constantly wills us to move on, when the world puts us down with its never ending trials and tribulations, when it seems like all around us there is nothing but darkness. The heart is fragile and sometimes we have to lie to it and convince it all iz well (watch 3 idiots to understand the phrase, awesome movie).

So why not take the time to appreciate the people in our lives for in actuality they make us who we are and what would we be without them.

Am just sayinG™

Speak Your Mind

Why can’t people for the life of them just say what they feel instead of hide behind an obscurity of words masking their emotions with this facade of bravado trying to look more composed than they really are? You’re hurting me, you’re hurting yourself because the truth of the matter is it’s never that hard to know when someone is hiding how they feel, you see it in the way they smile, their voice clearly gives it away and for crying out loud your actions will tell more than words ever will. But its human to pretend , am not gonna mention any reason why we do it cause quite frankly am not one to judge, am just tired of it. 

An honest NO will break my heart for a little while, I’ll heal, I’ll move on like nothing ever happened but then there is that deceptive smile, that calculated hello or premeditated “I miss you.” These are the ones that get me, they fester like wounds of battle. “ the truth will set you free“ believe it if you want to or don’t the choice is yours and the predicament only you will bear, I’ll tell you this though, for all the roads not taken the path back will always lead home. 

Words are beautiful, flowery and in my opinion hold the highest capacity of expressing yourself. From that love letter you wrote in your younger years to the sweet nothings you whisper in your lovers ears, words will forever guide how you relate, so why misuse them? Take them from granted and obscure their meaning? Taint them by construing lies? You tell me.

But then again a picture is worth a thousand words right?

You could always just express how you feel with one, I mean it’s so much simpler than going on and on telling someone something that could have been said with a simple picture. The end justifies the means after all (debatable but true).

So this is my opinion, why hurt them later? Let’s just get this over and done with. Speak your mind and unload all those pent up thoughts you’ve been keeping bottled up. Am sure you’re dying to tell someone how bad their singing is, or maybe there’s this person that just won’t get off your case always confessing feelings lol. Why not give them their big break and tell them all how you really feel, but don’t be too honest though there’s only so much one can take.

I'm just sayinG ™