FRIENDS ↔ LOVERS?

Today I had the pleasure of seeking wisdom in age, and truly it was bestowed upon me.  So why not share it right? 

What guides you to make the choices that you do? I vote conscience, others might vote experience and the list goes on and on but the point is, it differs for all of us. We have different guiding principles that at the end of the day lead to our varying decisions so how do you know how to make one of the biggest you'll ever make? Who to spend the rest of your life with.

Relationships never come easy and they endure so much that in the end if it doesn’t work out it sometimes crushes us, we tend to grow so attached to the other person that we don't know how to live without them. So then I asked a wonderful old lady in her wisdom of age, how do you know when someone is right for you? 

This is what she told me, "Don't rush into anything, the problem with young people is that they don't want to take the time to get to know someone. Let love develop from a friendship, one day you'll realize that feelings have started to develop, not just for you but for the other person as well. Get to know them, their family, their strengths and weakness and find out if they are the right person for you."

I was then told a tale of a young man who was in love with a girl but didn't have the courage to talk to her, so he talked to the cousin of the girl and told her how he felt, the cousin was kind enough to try and arrange an avenue for the two of them to interact, a small get together  if I remember correctly. The girl ended up sleeping at the guys place because it rained and the cousin had long since excused herself which meant it had only been the two of them. The guy took the girl home the next day where she was received with open arms and everyone came out to see her, now the girl had no idea what was going on but at the time she made no inquiries as to the happenings around her. A chicken was slaughter and other typical African traditions that you have when inviting a new daughter to the homestead. After they left his home the girl returned to her daily routine as one normally would but the guy decided to go pay his "in-laws" a visit. So when he gets to her home the parents ask him who he is because they had never heard of him. 

Moral of this story, I assumed that it was a matter of one getting to know someone before taking the next step. I could be wrong sometimes a story is just a story.

To wrap it up nicely from friends to lovers, now this naturally had me questioning a lot of things cause I've seen relationships work that have avoided the friend phase but the bigger question still remains, will they survive the test of time of fall to the way side? 

We all want to believe in a love that's bigger than ourselves and the idea that it might all be a lie just doesn’t sit well with me. So I throw this question back out there, does anyone believe that all facts with standing, love does conquer all?